Do You Really Like Him, or Is It Just Fourth Year Scramble?

“He’s just so Christ-like!” This is a rallying cry heard around campus in the last few weeks of the school year. 

Single female students, graduating in the next month, start to look around at the same men that they have ignored for the last four years, and they find nothing but positive qualities about the same men. Single men, desperate to give away rings, are not shy about the attention.

This, not surprisingly, leads to the most peculiar pairings—short men and tall women, Pentecostals and Reformed Baptists, a Dutch woman with someone, well, not-Dutch. 

With the more attractive males being picked in first or second year, our single female fourth-years need to justify their dating choices on other terms. You might hear them say things like, “He wore pants in the winter!” or, “He raised his hands during worship!” or, “He can play the cajón!” 

However, the need to find someone before walking the stage often trumps women’s critical thinking. 

For instance, take our first example:  S, who expected to find her future husband by second year, is still single in fourth year. J is also in fourth year and has been looking for a wife instead of focusing on his degree. S has never considered J as an option before, but now she can’t take her eyes off him. J plays the cajón on his church’s worship team, which drew S’s attention to him. S has told all her friends about this man, convinced she has found her future husband, with the selling point that J is impressively musical.

However, his ability to play the cajón has overshadowed every sexist comment that S has heard J say in class—the same things that made her look the other way in second year. 

However, with S’s desperation to find her future husband, S and J will end up dating before graduation but will break up about a month later when J proposes and S realizes she doesn’t actually like him. 

Are you in fourth year? Did you suddenly develop a crush on someone from a group project this semester? Did you unexpectedly become infatuated with the same person you could not stand in second year? 

Here’s a quick checkup for you to discover: Do you ACTUALLY like him, or did you just fall victim to the fourth-year scramble? 

1. Would you still like him in September?
2. Could you stand to hear him pray out loud?
3. How was he in your group project? How much work did he actually do?
4. If you ran into him outside of Redeemer, would you go up and say hi?
5. Is he just tall?
6. Is he just in leadership?
7. Would he look at least okay on an Instagram soft launch?

At the end of the day, remember: Just because he plays disc golf does not mean that he is your future husband. And just because she plays Catan does not mean you need to dig out your grandmother’s ring. Pursue the graduation stage, not the altar!